Okay. The things are:
1) I am scared of my results. It freaks me out. Seriously. I don’t even know that I’m gonna pass my exams. How bad or good my result is gonna be? That just bothers me. Am I going to repeat the papers? I don’t want that to happen :( I don’t really give the best during the exams. Urgghhh
2) I would love to start classes as soon as possible! I’m dying doing nothing! I want to do something. I want to read books. College books. I love being a student. And I don’t want long breaks because I want to finish up my degree FAST! I don’t want to waste anymore time. I don’t want to go back hometown and do nothing. I don’t want all that.
3) I’ve been thinking, that I want to get married earlier. I want to have my own life that I AM THE ONLY CONTROLLING. Not others. I don’t like others tell me what to do and what not to do. I don’t like that. I’m sick of being told. I want to do it my own way. Call me childish, and stupid, and immature, and young. I don’t care. Because I gave a lot of thinking these days; All the consequences and all the risks, and all the bad and the goods that can/might happened.
4) I want to get a part-time job. I want to earn my own pocket money every month. I want to be independent. I want to feel the hardships that I need to face. I want to know how hard it is to be holding your own money. I want to do it on my own. I want to save up money so that in future, I have some of my own.
5) I want a baby. Don’t freak out. But yes, I do love babies. I want my own baby. I thought the names of my baby, if I had one. If its a boy, I want to name him Ryan. :) I have thought all that. My fiancee is also aging. He is 26 years old now. He is old enough already to have a baby. And I’m ready for it. I want my own baby. :| I know what you might be thinking, “What the hell, are you thinking, Saby?!! You are 19 for god’s sake!” SO WHAT? It’s my bloody life.
6) I will be furthering my study to Australia. Yes. I want to study there. And who knows, if Jay can follow me and work there, I might extend another 2 years staying there, continue master, maybe. and make a baby there, maybe. Who knows, right. I just love to plan. :)
Is it wrong for me to say these things? Especially number 5. That is what really matters to me in life for now.
